


The Ice in My Bones

by arsenicarose



Series: DreamNotFound HURT Fics [7]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Depression, Dissociation, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, How Do I Tag This, Hurt/Comfort, I just don't want to trigger anyone so I am overly tagging just in case, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, It's not pretty but it's real, Listen this is just a raw snapshot of some who is deeply depressed, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Not Eating, Podfic Available, References to Depression, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Touch-Starved, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, but it's mild too, but like so barely, hygiene issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:15:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28986966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsenicarose/pseuds/arsenicarose
Summary: George has been in bed for days, unable to care or move. When Dream finally gets through to him, it doesn't make either of them feel any better.(AKA George is very depressed and Dream isn't sure how to help.)AN: I am not diagnosing George with depression. This is an AU where George has depression. This is not to speculate on his actual mental health at all.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: DreamNotFound HURT Fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051328
Comments: 20
Kudos: 283





	The Ice in My Bones

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [[Podfic] The Ice in My Bones](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604201) by [The Reader (arsenicarose)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsenicarose/pseuds/The%20Reader). 



It was cold. George was  _ cold _ . He shouldn’t have been shaking, wrapped in a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and blankets as he was, but his whole body was racked with uncontrollable shivers. His heater was even on, though it wasn’t shooting hot air at the moment, which meant the room was warmer than 22 C (72 F). That was a completely reasonable and bearable temperature, or at least, it should have been.

It had been like this for days. No matter what he did, he always felt a freezing, teeth-chattering chill that sank to his very bones. It made him not want to move. It made him want to stop existing. It was  _ exhausting _ .

His phone started buzzing again, probably someone calling, wondering where he was. It was easy to ignore it. He had been ignoring calls and texts for a while. He couldn’t bring himself to care for some reason. He hadn’t been able to care about anything. If he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he had spent any significant time outside of his bed, the last time he took a shower, or the last time he had eaten a real meal. It didn’t bother him as much as it should have.

His phone started to ring again, but this time it was his actual phone, instead of just discord or teamspeak. That was surprising enough to break him out of his reverie. No one had his number, except…

**Dream <3 Calling**

**Answer / Decline**

George was severely tempted to decline, but Dream was calling his actual phone. He only did that when it was actually serious. George was still having a lot of trouble giving a shit, but he had just enough in him to answer the phone. Once the emergency was taken care of, he could go back to the comfortable nothing he had been doing.

“Hello?” Wow, his voice was scratchy. It sounded like he had never even heard of water before, and even George could tell how terrible he must have sounded.

“George?” Dream’s voice was soft, tentative, nothing like what George had expected. “George, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, ‘M fine,” George grunted.

“No offense, dude, but you sound  _ awful _ . Are you sick?”

“Dunno, maybe.” That  _ would _ explain why he was so cold.

“George, what’s going on. You’re really freaking me out.”

“‘M  _ fiiine _ .” 

“You haven’t talked to us in five days! We thought you  _ died _ or something!”

“Wha…?” It took like half the energy George had, but he somehow managed to move his phone and check the date. “It’s the TWELFTH?!”

“Yeah, you just dropped off the face of the planet! And it’s not like you were responsive before…”

George was starting to freak out now, and the emotions he had been avoiding (for five days or more, apparently!) started to rear their ugly head. “What the fuck…?” 

“Wait, you really didn’t know?! George, what’s happening?”

“Fuck, Dream, I don’t know… I’m so fucking cold…”

“Are you sick?”

“I dunno, honestly…”

Dream paused for a moment, like he was considering something. “Can you ask your mom to-”

“NO.”

“Fine, I guess it has to be me then.”

“What?”

“What’s your address?”

“WHAT?!”

“Something is wrong, and you need help. I’m coming over.”

George sat up in bed, for what felt like the first time in years. “No, no the fuck you are not!”

“Yes the fuck I am, George! This is serious! You said you are ‘so cold’ and you didn’t realize that five days had passed. You sound like shit, sorry, and you need help. So either call your mom, or I’m coming over!!”

“Fine, I’ll call my mom.”

“Liar.”

George rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Dream. If I don’t give you my address, you can’t find me.”

“Wanna bet? I have your IP from all the shit we’ve done together. You think I won’t look you up?”

“Stalker.”

“George, I’m trying to help!”

“I don’t give a fuck! I’m fine! Leave me alone.” With that, George ended the call and turned off his phone. He was still trembling from the glacial ice on his bones, but at least he wouldn’t have to listen to Dream worrying about him.

~~~

More days passed, but George wasn’t sure how many, since he still hadn’t turned back on his phone. It was much more peaceful like that, and he appreciated it. No more frantic buzzing and annoying sing song chimes alerting him to people who would just pity him. He was content (or as close to it as he could get) in his bundle of blankets, hoping that at some point, they would warm him up.

They had to eventually.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. George wasn’t expecting anyone, so he just ignored it. He was getting good at that.

But they just kept knocking, louder and louder, until it was a banging that felt like it was vibrating his whole apartment.

“Fuck OFF!” he screamed, but it came out as a hoarse cough.

“George, I know you are in there! Open this door right now, or I am calling the police!”

His ears perked up. That voice… It sounded like… But that would be impossible…

George dragged his carcass out of bed, trailing every blanket he owned as he stumbled to the front door. The peep hole revealed a disheveled man with dirty blond hair and intense golden eyes, pacing frantically in the entryway.

“Dream?” George whispered.

“George!! Oh my God!! I thought… Doesn’t matter, open up. I’m here to help.”

George took in his appearance. He was in a white hoodie and grey sweats, and he’d been wearing them for days, his hair was half grease by that point, and he was sure he smelled. “Absolutely not, I’m disgusting!”

“I literally couldn’t care less, George. Please, before I am forced to pick the lock.”

“Dream, what the fuck? How are you even here?”

“I’ll tell you all about it, just  _ let me in. _ ”

“No.” George paused, trying not to collapse from the sudden wave of realization that was threatening to crash over him. “I… You can’t see me like this.” The last sentence was the barest whisper, and he was suddenly aware of the world around him. He had fallen off the face of the planet so hard that Dream, a man he had never gotten a picture of before, had flown from the United States on short notice to check on him. It was overwhelming to say the least.

“George, I  _ love _ you, and I’m here to help. I am not easily scared away, you know this.”

“Go away, Dream.”

“No.” With that, he started to shake the door handle, before suddenly realizing it wasn’t even locked.

George could slap himself. In his fugue state, he had closed the door without bothering to lock it, and he didn’t even know how long ago that was. “Fuck.”

The door burst open suddenly, revealing a panting Dream, standing well above him. George covered his eyes, shielding it from a sun he could barely remember, and stumbled back into his apartment.

“George…” Dream gasped, reaching for him slightly.

“No, don’t…” George tumbled back further, “Don’t look…” He collapsed to the ground, face darkening with embarrassment, tangled in a mess of blankets and sheets.

Dream squatted down, right beside his blushing friend, and cupped his cheek softly, gently encouraging George to meet his gaze. “It’s okay, George, honestly, I got you.”

George melted at the touch. He realized he hadn’t touched another person in months, and it hit him like a train. A light brushing of fingers on his chin completely broke him, and suddenly he realized how badly he had been doing. Despite himself, he leaned into Dream’s hand, needing it more than anything in the world.

They stayed like that for a long time.

Finally, Dream pulled away, against George’s wishes, and quietly closed the front door. “Let’s get you into a shower, shall we? And while you are getting clean, I’ll figure out some food.”

George stood, shedding the bed clothes like old skin, and headed towards the bathroom, sheepishly. If there was a smell, Dream didn’t comment on it. He just grabbed the mass of fabric and tossed what would fit into the washer.

As George was closing the door to the bathroom, Dream stopped him with a, “Wait, one second!” He slipped into the bathroom and grabbed a bunch of things that George couldn’t see, before nodding and giving him the go ahead.

His clothes felt stuck to him, and he was a bit terrified to take them off. He hadn’t seen his own body in a long time, and he couldn’t imagine it would look better now than it had before. He peeled each layer off, feeling strangely exposed and even more cold as his skin was revealed to the empty, locked room. It all left him in quite a daze. Just an hour ago, he was alone on his bed with no concept of anything, and now, Dream was in his house!

There was a crawling horror trying to tear at his brain about Dream having to come all the way out there to fix it, but that would be a problem for later on. In that moment, George was suddenly desperate for a shower. He had never felt more gross in his life.

~~~

Dream was relieved to hear the shower spraying water against the ceramic tub. It was soon followed by clear sounds of someone washing themselves, which made him feel even better. 

George had been in a terrible state when Dream got there. His eyes looked like bruises from the bags under them, his body was frail, almost skeletal, and there definitely was a smell, though Dream didn’t mind it for some reason. The first load of laundry was already in, though, and he started to get everything else ready. He stripped the bed, though skipped a new set of sheets, since he didn’t know where they were. The bed sheets went to the pile by the washer, along with some other dirty clothes flung around the room.

He hid the sharp things from the bathroom in his luggage, just in case.

~~~

George felt like a person again when he got out of the shower. There was something refreshing about water to the face and being clean. He meandered out of the bathroom, not really paying attention to the world around him.

“Uh, George?”

George’s eyes popped out of his skull. Thank GOD he had wrapped a towel around his waist. That wasn’t something he always did, since he lived alone now. “Hey… Ummm… Sorry about that… I’ll just…” With that, George practically dove into his room, shutting the door behind him. 

Some part of him still couldn’t believe Dream was with him. Once the panic of being nearly naked in front of his best friend started to die down, he reveled in it. There was a healthy dose of shame too, but Dream was  _ in his apartment _ . As long as he didn’t think about the context, it was a pretty good thing.

After some time, he didn’t know how long, there was a knock on the door. “I have some food, George… You dressed? You… you doing alright in there?”

“Hmm?” George blinked a few times. “Oh right, yeah, I’ll be out in a moment. I just need to get dressed.”

“It’s been like 20 minutes, George,” Dream teased, as he walked away, “Put twitter down and come get something to eat!”

_ Twenty minutes? _ George thought, dazed.  _ How does this keep happening? _ Before he could really think about it, his stomach started to growl, painfully. He went from being completely fine to feeling like he hadn’t eaten in days. Actually, when was the last time he ate? He wasn’t sure.

One giant sweatshirt and pair of sweatpants later, and he was in his living room, greeted by the delectable smells of food. His mouth watered desperately, and his stomach started tearing itself apart with need. “Smells delicious, Dream. Didn’t know you could cook.”

“Well, I’m full of surprises, I guess.” Dream smiled and set a plate down in front of George, nodding encouragingly. He didn’t tease George for his choice of clothes, or anything, really.

The food was gone in seconds. The moment a single bite touched George’s lips, he attacked it like a ravenous bear, only barely managing to stop himself from dropping the utensils and shoveling it into his face. When he was done, he looked up at Dream sheepishly. “Sorry… It was delicious.”

“Have you been eating?” Dream asked, quietly.

“I have definitely been eating.”

“Have you been eating  _ enough _ ?”

“Ummm…” George’s eyes fell back to his now empty plate, unable to meet Dream’s accusatory gaze.

“You’re skin and bones, Georgie…”

“I suppose I am.” He fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, desperately wishing Dream weren’t here, seeing him like this. He felt better, with food in his belly and clean skin, but he was still cold. He curled in on himself.

“Would you let me take you to a doctor?”

“I don’t want to go to a doctor.”

“George, please…” Dream’s voice was pained, and it hurt to hear. “I’m really worried about you.”

“And that’s the problem,” George snapped, “I didn’t ask you to be.”

“I don’t care what you asked for, George. I flew out here, and I’m helping.” Dream tried to squash the frustration he was feeling, knowing it wouldn’t help George, but it was hard. The solution was so easy, in his mind, and George just wouldn’t  _ do _ it.

“Whatever.” Suddenly, all the energy had left George again, and he found himself sinking back into whatever pit Dream had found him in. He stumbled away from the table, grabbed some blankets from the dryer, and collapsed into his bed. It was the only safe place he could think of, and it was as close to warm as he could get. Wrapping the covers entirely around him felt like protection. Sleep took him against his will.

~~~

Dream was pacing again. He had a tendency to do that when he needed to solve a problem. Walking something into the ground, flattening the issue until it was clear and easy, that was how to deal with things. So he paced, but there was no easy solution.

He wasn’t sure what he had expected. Maybe that his very presence would cure George? That the love they shared would shake him free of whatever affliction had taken him? He certainly hadn’t expected such a hearty rejection.

George hadn’t closed his door, so after a few minutes, soft snores drifted into the living room, only increasing Dream’s pacing. Should he let George sleep? Had George been sleeping in his bed, or just lying there for days? 

There was only one thing he could think to do. It was how he had figured out coding, and how he had become a Youtuber people watched. He started to research, hours spent poring over research papers, informational websites, blogs by people with similar issues, and articles written by those in the know. If there was one thing Dream could do, it was learn, especially if it was for someone he cared about.

It also made him feel better to be doing something,  _ anything _ , about George. He was terrified if he didn’t, George would die.

~~~

Time passed weirdly for George. He wasn’t sure what day it was, let alone the time. The room was pitch black, with curtains drawn so tight the moon had no chance of getting through. What had he even been doing? It felt like something important had happened, and it was on the tip of his…

Dream!

With a sudden burst of energy, he threw the covers off, regretting it immediately as the chill set in. Suddenly, the trip from his room to the living room seemed like an insurmountable distance. He started to let himself sink back into the mattress, but the nagging feeling kept eating away at him. Sure, he was cold, but Dream was in his place, and he had just snapped at him and passed out after Dream travelled all the way…

It felt like one of the hardest things he had ever done, but, somehow, he managed to drag his bones through his tiny apartment, to find Dream reading furiously, scanning his computer screen. He pulled the blankets he had brought around him tighter.

Dream glanced up, and his eyes went wide and soft. “Hey…”

“Hey…” George shuffled in place for a moment. “You’re still here…”

“Yeah…”

“I figured I would have scared you off.” It came out bitterly, more bitterly than George had intended.

“Never. Unless… Do you want me to be scared off, actually?”

“No! No, I just… I kind of figured you would leave after…”

Dream was beside George in a second, crossing the room so fast that it happened in a single blink. “No, George, of course not. One angry day isn’t enough for that. If you really want me to go, I will, but otherwise, I am here for you.”

Having Dream’s body that close to George was intoxicating. He so desperately wanted to be held, to be comforted, to stop being so lonely and icy. He found himself leaning towards the solid figure next to him, silently begging for something he could never ask for.

Thankfully, Dream seemed to understand. “Do you want a hug?”

George didn’t have it in him to refuse. He let himself be dragged back to the couch, and he crawled into Dream’s lap. Dream’s arms wrapped around him protectively, and he pressed himself against Dream’s body.

He started to feel warm.

Then he burst into tears. He wasn’t sure where it came from, or why, but there was so much sadness in him. It felt like it was without cause, but that didn’t stop it from being there. There was so much that he had been completely ignoring, and it ripped it’s way out of him like claws and ice. The numbness was gone, and he was shredded.

But at least he was finally  _ warm _ . Dream’s body radiated heat and love, two things he hadn’t been able to feel for such a long time. He snuggled in, closer and closer to Dream’s body, until they were almost one person. He stole all of Dream’s heat and used it to feel again.

They stayed like that for a long time, and after a while, George was finally ready to hear what Dream had to say. He was ready to consider asking for help.

~~~

Dream did not cure George of his depression. Love is not a cure. There is no “cure.” He did  _ help _ though. He was patient, kind, and understanding. He was with George through the messy parts, the relapses into numb weeks without response, and the fights over not wanting pity. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

Because George got  _ better _ . It took months of work, mostly done by George himself (though Dream definitely pitched in), but he started to recover. He started to find ways out of his bed. He started to see the signs. He learned how to cope.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this one, but I kept coming back to it, so I thought I would post it. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed. :)


End file.
